so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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