member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
