i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My hand turned me down
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
