I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
