i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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