I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
