Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
