Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
