My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
