I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize