im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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