Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
