Your dad touched me again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
