I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
