yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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