so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
