You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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