Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
50% drunk capacity currently
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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