So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
