thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
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