It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
