Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
