New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
