Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
