i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
where am i from again
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
