drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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