The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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