i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
