we have pet lesbian snakes
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
