Where is the hickey?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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