Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
not ubering you a puppy
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize