We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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