There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
PS: I just woke up from my shower
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
