Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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