One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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