Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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