my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
