watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
