you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
