this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
