he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
