One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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