update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
