There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
