It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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