if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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