This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
