The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize