i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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