We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
