We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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