then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
